What we focus on grows.

By Carol Dores

Do you see a half-filled cup as half empty or half full?  Do you tend to focus on the negative or the positive?

We know that what we focus on expands and grows.

So in Positive Discipline, we try to focus on the positives and strengths.  That does not mean that there are not challenging times.  It does mean that we try to use tools and strategies to learn from the challenges.

What does this mean in terms of how we are with our children?

Instead of….Telling a child what they are doing wrong

Try…Telling them what they are doing right


Instead of…Telling a child what they are doing wrong

Try….Telling them what they are doing right


Instead of….Looking at mistakes as a problem

Try…Talking about what we can learn from them


Instead of…Talking about how hard a subject is

Try….Talking about how the child can use what they are good at to help them in challenging areas


Instead of….Dreading Mondays

Try…Talking about what is good about a new week starting


Instead of…Being critical of how a child made their bed

Try…Appreciating their effort in making the bed


Instead of…Thinking negative thoughts

Try…Thinking about what you are grateful for


For some of us who were raised by critical parents, this can be a huge shift in how we were raised.  It may take a lot of thought and effort to look for the good rather than be critical.  It is well worth the effort.  You can also explain to your children that you are going to try to be more positive, and ask them to do the same.  It can really help your home feel like a happier, more inviting place!

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